Over 1 THOUSAND uses.Have you got a nasty groin rash? Use UNIVERSAL PASTE on that sucka, 97% of UNIVERSAL PASTE users never complain of such an ailment.
Mother in law coming to stay? Uh oh! Well fret no more friend, offer her some universal paste, she'll be on your good side in no time fella.
Ever dreamed of being invisible?? I know i have. well now with universal paste EXTREME! you can have any super power you can imagine... awsome!!!
Tired of paying ridiculous fees for your childs education, well just a handfull of Stes paste smeared on you kids freshly shaved scalp and they're on easy street for life.
Dislocated shoulder... too bad.
Family member recently deceased, can't yet afford the funeral expenses, never mind those worries my man, just a light coat of this paste, 1000 uses, will preserve the beloved corpse till you've bagged that new promotion.
Sick of looking after your elderly relative, you know that one that just won't die, one quick and stealthy swab of our bonafied pastey goodness will euthanise that fool out this galaxy in no time flat.
Mortal enemy getting you down? you know what to do.
Gauranteed non-fair trade. Those dumbasses should go get a job anyway right? Am I right... I'm right.
Drug testers ruining your countries olympic gold dreams, take our universal paste, nine out of ten drug testers cant detect a thing, i like those odds.
Universal paste, the cause of the need for answers to all of lifes problems. YOU WANT IT!!!
Helps you score with twins, cover yourself in two tubes of this miracle paste and you'll get triplet cheerleaders. I used to use multi purpose paste (yucky smellbag) and thought it was going well, turns out I attracting tranny homo monkeys by the barrel full. Bad news by anyones estimation, except those freaks up at multicorp, mad for the cock them.
New in your shopping mall, Universal paste for kids... comes in chicken giblet flavour or the arse end of a goat flavour. Its a sure thing to keep that over amourous drunken uncle away till you old enough to kick seven shades of shight out of them, yeehaw.
Why not share universal Paste with your friends.
Competitors of Stes Amazing fantabulous universal paste have motioned that Stes amazing, completely safe universal paste causes 83% of users to die instantly. Well let me assure you, as an adamant user of his incredible paste (its fantastic by the way), i know that 100% of universal paste users die eventually so why not.
May contain nuts.
Mat cause sudden rectal ejection.
may cause sudden explosive rectum rejection
may cause spontanious bumsplosion.
may cause humungus cat-ARSE-trophe. yeah i went there.
May contain traces of the down and outs.
May cause involuntary knobectomy.
May cause the inability to pronounce the word brochure.
May contain or cause Death.
May constipate your ability to be constipated.
May constrict airways and destrict arseways.
CEO ste tries our new universal supository. "Well I don't need any more convincing, neither do you".
